I wish there were three simple steps to overcome the fear of transitioning from earning and saving to spending our resources—it would make the decision to retire so much easier! As far as I can see, there aren’t those three easy steps. The fear is legitimate. We know and hear a lot about how to build a career, earn money, save money, build wealth for later. Most of us have been practicing this and honing our skills for decades—we’re good at it! To retire is to be willing to start to play a whole new game. Not only do we lack the skills to be good at this game, we aren’t even sure what the rules are.
Now there are Americans who have very good reason to be terrified of earning their final paycheck. According to a 2024 AARP survey, twenty percent of adults over 50 have no savings—zero. And Synchrony reports that the median savings of people between 55 and 64 is $185,000—a sum unlikely to support many years of comfortable retirement. But these are rarely the people who seek my advice. Nope, my clients tend to have saved very well. They have resources that will support them well through a long retirement. In fact, the most likely scenario for these folks is that they’ll die with more money than they had when they retired. But understanding the data that you’re fine, all is well, on an intellectual level doesn’t translate into a smooth transition from earning to spending.
What, then? I’ll offer that most of us have loads of experience with life changes and that that experience can be applied to this new circumstance. In my own case, I realized only a few years in to my career in investments in New York City that it wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my entire working life. My partner Ron and I took four years to prepare for a new chapter, buying and outfitting a small sailboat that would allow us to sail to beautiful places and pursue our shared passion of taking people scuba diving. The day came to give my notice and leave my “career maker” position…and it was terrifying. No more paychecks, no more seemingly predictable status quo.
Phoebe Alice sailing on Long Island Sound.
Sailing off into the sunset wasn’t as romantic as you might imagine. Our departure had to be timed to have favorable tides to get out of Long Island Sound…so we left in pea soup fog with lots of tug boat and barge traffic to dodge to keep from being run down. Then there was the big blow (imagine 30-foot seas towering over your 31-foot sailboat!) in the Atlantic on the way to Bermuda that beat us to a pulp over 48 hours…during which time there was no way of knowing when it might let up. Nothing about figuring out this new chapter went smoothly and very little went as planned and still it was one of the best years of my life, Ron’s, too. Maybe it was because, even with the fears, I chose to let go and go where life was taking me? And it showed me that I am adequate to my experience, as my meditation teacher often reminds me. This is my experience and probably yours, as well. The life lesson for us to hold on to is that, while we don’t get to know all of the details of how, this will work out.
So, yes, let’s make reasonable preparations and consider a variety of options. And when we have, let’s reframe the tightness in our chests and sweaty palms as not fear but gathering our energy to meet a new challenge. Then we can let go in to what life has in store for us.
If you want help figuring out your options for a new chapter, send me a message!
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